During my time teaching abroad, I had the chance to live with a host family. Host families are households (can be a single person, couple, couple with children, single parent, etc.) that provide lodging, meals, and support for international students, program participants, etc., many times free of charge. Living with a host family was a wonderfully unique opportunity that had a major impact on my experience living in Spain. This post will be dedicated to sharing some details of my experience as well as giving tips on how to make the most of living with a host family should you find yourself looking into this option.
My Host Family Experience
For the duration of my program, I moved into a five member household with my host mom, host dad, host sister (age 12), and two host brothers (ages 5 and 9). When I arrived at my host family's house for the first time, I was welcomed with open arms as the kids had apparently been asking about me. My host mom showed me to my bedroom and gave me a mini tour of the house. I unpacked my bags and got settled into what would be my new home for the next few months. My family lived in a very small village-like area so after I finished unpacking, we decided to go on a walk so that I could see the area. It was dark, cold, and foggy so there wasn’t much to do or see but it gave me a chance to hang out with the family which was nice.
I’m super shy but I really wanted to get to know my host siblings so a lot of time was spent in the beginning trying to interact with them and get to know them more. My host sister could speak a good amount of English but my host brothers only spoke Spanish, and as I mentioned in my last post, I had beginner level Spanish skills so talking to them was difficult at times. Playing games ended up being our best option. I played Just Dance and Jenga with my host sister multiple times which was really fun. My youngest host brother was really into soccer so we tried playing FIFA video games as well as playing soccer in the garage (I sucked at both LOL). My host sister and youngest host brother definitely began to warm up to me and we started to feel much more comfortable interacting with each other. In fact, they actually started becoming slightly more affectionate with me (i.e hugging, leaning on me on the couch, kissing on the cheek, etc.). Although I wouldn’t consider myself a very affectionate person, that seemed to be a big part of Spanish culture so it was pretty cool to see my host siblings reaching that comfort level with me. Although I attempted interacting with my other host brother, we never really connected but it’s okay. He was a super sweet kid, I think we were both just really shy and my inability to speak a lot of Spanish added to the difficulty.
My host family was really inclusive and brought me into their everyday lives so that I could really immerse myself in Spanish culture, one of the best parts about my program. I was part of a very religious family so Sunday Church service, Wednesday Bible Study, and nightly Bible readings were a big part of my host family’s weekly routine. Every night, the family would sit in my host brothers’ room and take turns reading a few pages from the Bible. My host mom gave me a bilingual Bible but it was still hard keeping up as I would often lose track of where they were if I was focused on the English side and would not understand what was being said if I was on the Spanish side. Either way, it was still nice to be able to participate in such an important family moment. They would even ask if I wanted to take a turn reading with them.
My host family also spent a lot of time with family and friends and often invited me to come with. A few days after my arrival, one of my host brothers had a birthday party which was my first introduction to my host family’s friend group, most of which came from church. After that day, I saw many of these same people on a weekly basis as we went to weekly Bible studies, hung out at their friends’ houses, and went to various birthday parties. After church every Sunday, we also went to my host dad’s mom’s house for lunch. She was so welcoming and made my visits much more comfortable!
Lastly, my family consistently included me in different moments and showed me around the city to make me feel more involved. We would have lunch and dinner together as a family everyday, go bike riding through the village, and visit the malls and city center together. I went to my host brothers’ soccer matches and my host sister’s tutoring session. They also planned a day trip to Segovia and Avila, sister cities about an hour outside of our hometown. This day trip was really nice and served as the beginning of many small adventures around Spain and other parts of Europe.
My Tips for Living With a Host Family
My top tip to successfully navigate host family life is to be open minded!
Your host family lives in a different country which means their cultural norms, foods, routines, language, etc. will be different than what you are used to back home. Although they will likely do what they can to make you feel comfortable, do not expect them to change who they are to mimic norms from your home country. In fact, you shouldn’t want them to! Instead, ask questions, try new things, participate in unfamiliar activities, adjust to their routine, etc. This means eating dinner with your family, tagging along for their holiday gatherings, speaking their language, and going grocery shopping with them. Actively engaging in your host family’s lifestyle will make you feel more connected to them, allow you to step outside of your comfort zone, and help you learn more about a new culture. Isn’t that the whole purpose of you being there?
Tip #2 is to be honest with your host family. Communication is key!
Communicate your plans, goals, concerns, and expectations with them. If you plan to meet up with other program participants every Friday night or you are interested in traveling to other countries, let them know so that they are not concerned if you are gone. This will also ensure that they don’t start feeling like you don’t like them or you do not want to spend time with them. If your goal is to become fluent in their language and you would like assistance, let them know so that they can set aside time to teach you. If you are more introverted and need your space after 8pm, once again, let them know so they don’t take it personal. If you're having a rough day mentally or emotionally, let them know so they can be of support in whatever way you need them to. Being open and honest will ensure that you and your family are on the same page and minimize potential problems. Remember cultural differences can cause misunderstandings by nature (i.e. eating in your room is accepted in the USA but can raise concerns in a country that heavily values collectivism) so communication will alleviate many headaches!
Tip #3 is to be patient.
Not every day will be peaches and cream while living with a host family. There will be moments of awkwardness, you may struggle to understand them when they are speaking, the family may do something that frustrates you, and you might not become besties with every family member. That is okay. In fact, that’s completely normal. Personally, there were many times where I felt disconnected from the family and many days where I found myself overwhelmed and ready to cry. However, it's important to be patient not only with your host family but with yourself. This is a unique experience for both parties and there are a lot of challenges and hurdles you all will run into. The important part is to not let your bad days ruin your whole experience, continue trying and adjusting to your family (and sometimes accepting the things you don’t like for what they are), and to let time run its course. Though it was tough at times (more to come in a later post), I enjoyed my experience overall and would definitely do it again!
Bonus tip: Bring a small gift from your home country for your host family.
I did not realize this was common practice and wish I could go back in time and redo. I did get them a gift at the end but something from the USA would've been better. Your host family is opening up their home to you and a small gift can serve as a nice sign of appreciation. It also gives them a chance to learn something new about your home country.
Have you lived with a host family before? Do you have any tips to add? Leave them in the comments below!
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Hope this served as your sign to step outside of your comfort zone and teach abroad! I thoroughly enjoyed my experience! And if that wasn't enough, I also have a referral link that will save you an extra $200! (I wish I would've had one of these before my trip, $700 to cover housing, meals, placement assistance, etc. while living abroad for 3 months is honestly a steal! That would normally only cover 1 week in a hotel!)
And of course there's no hiding that there is benefit for me too if you use my referral link because if you get $200, I also get $200. Win win lol. However, I'm not in it for the money. I genuinely did enjoy my experience and would recommend a thousand times! Anyway, hope you enjoyed!
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